If you happen to requested relationship app and content material creator Terry Rhea what his sexual orientation is, he’d say he’s “heteroflexible”.
If you happen to responded quizzically – what’s that? – he’d gladly go into element about what the phrase means to him.
“To me, heteroflexible signifies that beneath the fitting circumstances – the fitting place, time, individual and setting – I’d probably have enjoyable with somebody of the identical intercourse,” Rhea instructed HuffPost.
“I view intercourse as one thing pleasurable, intimate and connecting. It’s imagined to be enjoyable,” he stated. “So long as everybody has been examined, boundaries are established, and all events are consenting adults, I see no difficulty with that.”
The “principally straight” messaging of “heteroflexible” works for him in a method that “bisexual” doesn’t.
“Bisexual, to me, means you might be romantically interested in and would date or marry both intercourse,” he stated. “Heteroflexible means you might be primarily interested in the alternative intercourse, however beneath the fitting situations, you’d be open to same-sex experiences – for me, it’s strictly for enjoyable, nothing extra.”
He’s not alone in embracing the label. In its latest annual information deep dive, Feeld – a relationship app that manufacturers itself “for open-minded people” – discovered that heteroflexible is the fastest-growing sexuality on the platform. The variety of individuals selecting the label elevated by 193% over the previous yr.
Rhea isn’t the least shocked.
“Now we have extra nuanced terminology to explain the total spectrum of sexual identification nowadays,” he stated. “Folks aren’t forcing themselves into containers that don’t fairly work anymore.”
However how does “heteroflexible” differ from all the opposite phrases which might be already on the market: bi-curious, bisexual and pansexual? And is there one thing a bit queerbaiting about hinting at queerness whereas aligning your self with heterosexuality, as some critics have claimed? Beneath, we discover that and extra.
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The place did the phrase come from, and the way does it differ from bisexual and different labels?
“Heteroflexible” first gained traction within the early 2000s on U.S. faculty campuses and in on-line boards. (For these too younger to know, this was the “I kissed a woman, and I favored it” period.) Folks additionally began utilizing the time period “homoflexible”. Its inverse: somebody who is generally homosexual however open to opposite-sex experiences beneath the fitting circumstances.
Is it full-blown orientation? Is dependent upon who you ask.
For some individuals, heteroflexible appears like that, however for others, it’s extra of a descriptive label for behaviour and even simply curiosity, defined Jesse Kahn, the director and a intercourse therapist on the Gender & Sexuality Remedy Middle in New York.
“Experiences like this have at all times existed, and the language continues to evolve as individuals search for phrases that really feel correct and affirming,” he stated. “The phrase displays a broader shift towards understanding sexuality as fluid, contextual, and never at all times mounted or binary.”
Bisexuality and pansexuality are extra mounted, stated Alexandra Askenazi Marcus, a therapist and medical supervisor on the Gender & Sexuality Remedy Middle.
“Bisexuality and pansexuality are extra established sexual orientations that contain constant attraction to a couple of gender, with pansexuality emphasising attraction no matter gender,” she stated.
“Heteroflexibility differs in that it typically maintains heterosexuality as the first identification whereas permitting for exceptions,” she stated. “It’s much less about identification.”
“Queer” in the meantime works as an umbrella time period that offers individuals room to outline their sexuality exterior inflexible or conventional classes.
Jaunté Marquel Reynolds-Villarreal, one other therapist and medical supervisor on the Gender & Sexuality Remedy Middle, isn’t shocked the label is catching on. The discourse on love and sexuality is altering, he stated, and youthful individuals nowadays are down with the Kinsey Scale.
“Youthful generations have been extra open to viewing sexuality and sexual orientation as a spectrum,” he stated. “Up to now, we tended to make use of labels as very restrictive constructs, binding individuals into particular pursuits or points of interest that simply don’t actually maintain true right here in 2026.”
There are some queer people who find themselves important of the label
Mary Hellstrom, a therapist and medical supervisor at The Expansive Group in Honolulu, Hawaii, thinks that for some heteroflexible individuals, the label might perform equally to the favored ’90s time period “bi-curious”.
As Hellstrom poetically put it, “[It’s] like a wonderful stepping stone alongside the trail, or a set of water wings as one begins wading into the deep waters of queer sexuality for the primary time”.
If the sexual orientations of bisexual, pansexual or queer perform like homes of self, with everlasting partitions and artwork and glass home windows, Hellstrom urged that heteroflexibility features extra like a pop-up camper.
“It’s accessible to be used when wanted and simply packed away in storage when it isn’t,” she stated. “Pop-up campers are fantastic innovations, good for these spontaneous, off-road weekend adventures, however they differ from a home and require a lot much less effort to create and maintain.”
For critics of heteroflexibility – particularly queer critics – what feels a bit questionable concerning the label is how intently it sits to heterosexuality. Out of all of the labels accessible, it’s a alternative to explain your queer identification utilizing the phrase hetero.
Given the hostile political local weather LGBTQ persons are at the moment dealing with, there’s security in being straight adjoining, intercourse therapists we spoke to stated.
“The obvious distinction between pansexual, queer or bisexual and heteroflexible is that these different identities are all topic to marginalisation and an absence of security inside our patriarchal methods,” Hellstrom stated.
And as single girls joke about ceaselessly on TikTok, most individuals utilizing the phrase heteroflexible on Feeld are usually cis-men. “‘No homo,’ however I do often have intercourse with males.”
Heteroflexible straight males get to expertise the security and privileges that include the identification, with out totally shopping for in and having their queerness threaten their masculinity. A full-bodied label, like, queer or homosexual, comes with an entire lot extra stigma.
Rhea, the self-identifying heteroflexible man, agrees that such fears might come into play for some males who decide the label on Feeld.
“Due to how patriarchy features, straight males who additionally expertise any inkling of a gay thought or feeling typically expertise this as deeply threatening to their sense of self and masculinity,” he stated. “The system is designed to evoke this sense.”
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Rhea understands the criticism, however he views the phrases as genuinely distinct. (And for essentially the most half, individuals have reacted positively when he shares that he’s heteroflexible.)
“To me, bisexual is the umbrella time period. Heteroflexible and homoflexible are subsets inside it,” he stated. “Heteroflexible means you primarily date and associate with the alternative intercourse however are often open to same-sex play. Bisexual, in my opinion, sits within the center: open to relationship, partnering with, or marrying both intercourse. These aren’t the identical factor, and the distinctions matter.”
Calling himself “heteroflexible” is an moral, trustworthy alternative, he thinks: As he dates round, he doesn’t need a man to get the flawed impression about his openness to a relationship.
“I’m glad that Feeld gives heteroflexible as an possibility,” he stated. “We’ve been positioned right into a worn-out field of obligatory heterosexuality. It’s refreshing to see that persons are experimenting with little pushes towards its partitions.”
