Three months after ex-AFL participant, Mitch Brown, made the historic resolution to come back out as bisexual he was bailed up by a media staffer at a Woman Gaga live performance.
“She stated to me: ‘I do not consider you.'”
“‘I do not consider you, I feel you are in it for the celebrity. You are actually simply homosexual, aren’t you?'”
Shocked by each the general public nature of the confrontation and what Mitch felt was blatant biphobia, he ended up making an attempt to justify himself to a stranger.
“I slipped into this weak state of making an attempt to persuade her,” Brown stated.
“I felt like I needed to give her a solution and make it OK for her, after which the following day I used to be like: ‘That is not OK in any respect.'”
Happily, that have was a blip on what has been a comparatively constructive six months for the primary male AFL participant, previous or current, to publicly determine as queer.
Mitch Brown performed 94 AFL video games with the West Coast Eagles between 2007 and 2016. (Getty Photographs: Paul Kane)
And now he is getting the prospect to co-host the Sydney Homosexual and Lesbian Mardi Gras for the primary time.
A ‘f*** this second’ on an Italian seaside
Within the AFL’s 129-year historical past it is estimated that nearly 15,000 males have performed professionally.
On condition that even by probably the most conservative estimates, roughly 1 in 20 Australians determine as a part of the LGBTQIA+ neighborhood, it is unbelievable that Mitch is the AFL’s first queer male participant.
That thought was what spurred Mitch into motion whereas holidaying in Italy together with his companion Lou halfway by means of final 12 months.
Mitch Brown determined to come back out publicly whereas on vacation. (Provided: Mitch Brown)
“We have been sitting on the seaside, having an Aperol spritz,” Brown stated.
As they sipped their drinks they have been listening to a podcast discussing how no male AFL participant had ever spoken brazenly about being queer.
“It was a ‘f*** this’ second,” he stated. “I used to be similar to, ‘This isn’t adequate.’
“I had this emotion of, ‘You realize what? I’ll arise and say ‘effectively, that is not true.'”
Three days later, Brown contacted one of many podcast hosts, Sam Kowslowski, co-founder of The Every day Aus, and wrote: “I am Mitch Brown. I performed for the West Coast Eagles for 10 years and I am a bisexual man. I might love to talk.”
“And that was it,” he stated. “The remainder was, I suppose, historical past.”
Overcoming doubts with chosen household
Three days might not seem to be a very long time to deliberate on turning into considered one of solely a handful of Australian skilled male athletes to ever come out, however Brown had already come out to pals and family members just a few years in the past — lots of whom inspired him to go public.
“I had a number of conversations with individuals, particularly within the queer neighborhood, who would problem me and say: ‘You must say one thing,'” he stated.
“‘It might imply one thing to somebody and that is actually vital.'”
Mitch Brown together with his household. (Provided: Mitch Brown)
Whereas Brown understood the precedent it could set, he was unsure whether or not he was the fitting particular person for the job.
“I did not really feel like I had a voice due to my very own insecurities round bisexuality [and] my insecurities round my platform as a soccer participant,” he stated.
“[I thought] possibly the primary particular person … wanted to be somebody that was fashionable, somebody that was good at soccer, somebody that’s at the moment enjoying, and somebody that’s homosexual and may go to the Brownlow Medal strolling down the purple carpet with a person.”
That interior critic saved Mitch from sharing his true self for a few years, however that had began to shift.
“Over the previous couple of years, since I’ve actually owned and been proud and felt much less shameful about my sexuality and my id, I have been capable of finding the those who I really feel secure round,” he stated.
In the end although, Brown could not have executed it with out the love and help of his companion, Lou.
Mitch Brown and his companion Lou. (Provided: Mitch Brown)
“[She created] a secure area, particularly at dwelling and in our relationship, to have the ability to carry up my full self and to have these conversations round who I have been drawn to, and who I’m drawn to, after which not concern judgement or the connection ending,” he stated.
“We perceive the implications of talking publicly about sexuality in a straight-presenting relationship as effectively. However I felt secure sufficient and we did it.
“Folks go, ‘Yeah, Mitch, you probably did it,’ but it surely was very a lot a ‘we’ factor — myself and Lou — and that is vital.”
How the AFL may get higher
Reflecting on his interplay with the media staffer on the Woman Gaga live performance Mitch needs individuals did not really feel the necessity to categorise others right into a binary of both homosexual or straight.
“You have received these moments of vulnerability, the place these voices in your head go: ‘F***, possibly I’m homosexual?’ However then you definately’re like, ‘No, dangle on. I am positively not. I like my companion and he or she’s a girl. I am drawn to girls and I am drawn to males,'” Brown stated.
Mitch Brown formally got here out on The Every day Aus podcast. (YouTube: The Every day Aus)
He is additionally extremely conscious there is a lengthy method to go for the AFL to develop into an inclusive atmosphere.
Brown thinks celebrating gamers who show constructive behaviours and embody a wholesome model of manhood is a vital first step.
“There’s plenty of gamers which can be good males and are doing wonderful work,” he stated.
“We will do loads, and the AFL can do loads in uplifting wonderful people who find themselves position fashions throughout the neighborhood.”
Brown desires individuals to see the act of calling one another out as considered one of management and power.
“The examples of what [being strong] means have modified,” he stated.
“It is now not remaining silent and letting issues blow over.
“It is now standing up for what your values are, it is proudly owning your errors — that is what power is.
“[Because] it is not simply males’s AFL soccer, it is throughout — college yards for our younger individuals, building websites, group chats on the pub on the weekend and within the stands of sporting fields.”
Mitch Brown helps queer gamers within the AFLW too. (AFL Pictures by way of Getty Photographs: Michael Willson)
Making it safer for the following particular person
Whereas there was “no playbook” for popping out within the AFL, Brown was given confidence by different individuals who’ve been open about who they’re.
“There’s been wonderful position fashions that I’ve been so grateful for and I am so fortunate to have the ability to now name pals, like Isaac Humphries and Josh Cavallo and some others which have simply been an incredible help,” he stated.
He hopes his resolution will assist others who’re contemplating doing the identical.
“I see my position as [making] it a little bit bit safer for the following particular person,” he stated.
“I am not going to say that it will be 100 per cent secure for them — it is not. However for that subsequent individual that does [come out] it is going to make it a bit safer for the following particular person after that and ultimately [it won’t even matter].”
Brown hopes his story can provide reassurance to different younger males grappling with their sexuality, notably in extremely masculine areas.
“These emotions of disgrace, these emotions of being anxious, wanting round, making an attempt to really feel if this can be a secure place or not, they’re solely non permanent,” he stated.
“And the issues that disgrace you most will ultimately be the very factor that you simply’re most pleased with.”
There was plenty of pleasure and alternative for Brown since he got here out, together with the Mardi Gras co-hosting gig and being welcomed into queer communities throughout the nation.
Mitch Brown with considered one of his sons. (Provided: Mitch Brown)
“One of many biggest issues concerning the final six months is with the ability to be in areas the place, I suppose, the place individuals do recognise you [and having] conversations not about myself, however conversations the place individuals really feel secure sufficient to share their expertise, good, unhealthy and ugly,” he stated.
Whereas nonetheless adjusting to what constitutes “regular life” now that he is a public determine, Brown would not change a factor.
“The pursuit of discovering your true self leads you to like, leads you to heartbreak, leads you to journey, leads you to all the things,” he stated.
“And that is what makes life what it’s.”
The stay broadcast of the Sydney Homosexual and Lesbian Mardi Gras parade begins Saturday February 28 at 7:30pm AEDT on ABC TV and ABC iview.
